Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
