I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
