Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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