I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
