That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
