I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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