Welp...herpes.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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