in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
