Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
