There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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