How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Still dying that you shit outside
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
