.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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