just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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