I have demons in me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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