I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
