Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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