It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
