yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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