No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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