We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
