Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
