she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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