he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
