Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
