we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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