Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
