You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
