She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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