Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
