I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
