I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
