I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
