great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
