Actions speak louder than pants.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
