"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
