Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my poor anus
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
