plz talk dirty to me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
