He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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