Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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