it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
