a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
