I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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