Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
