Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
