I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
