don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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