I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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