I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
