Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
