I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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