Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize