He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
