you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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