marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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