I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
